3/5 stars
A memoir that makes you want to tie up the loose ends with every man you’ve ever loved
Mary-Louise Parker’s debut release is a memoir of letters to men who have impacted her life. The letters are brief, yet contain an honesty and depth many writers never reach. Parker’s experiences with these men are diverse, and the relationships described are complicated and often marked by profound love or pain – or both.
Parker is an actress I admittedly am not familiar with, but I was drawn to the book because every woman has scars from men who have loved too intensely or cut too deeply. We are shaped by these encounters with male family, friends, lovers, and acquaintances, despite our best efforts not to be. Some portions of the letters poetically expressed abstract feelings beyond my understanding. But, as a reader, I came to understand those moments as maybe being written for Parker and her own journey of healing rather than for my own reading pleasure.
I gravitated toward letters she wrote to, and about, older men and family. We can all relate to her romantic ups and downs, but the tender and sentimental moments she shared with people like her rural neighbor and her adopted daughter’s uncle were the highlights of Dear Mr. You. My favorite letters, “Dear Daddy” and “Dear Oyster Picker,” described her father’s last days and reflected back on his life. I also appreciated Parker’s “Dear Orderly” recounting of her fierce unwillingness to let her newborn baby out of her sight at the hospital shortly after his birth. Perhaps I was most affected by these stories because of the shift within me that happened when I became a mother last year. Then again, I think I always would have favored those letters. I may never tire of reading about the love between parent or caretaker and child.
This is a book I wish I had written. Parker’s enduring love and admiration for some men and contempt for others made me realize how lucky I am to have had a life full of men who have made me the strong woman I am today. The stories in Dear Mr. You show us more about the woman than the men and that is beautiful. Both female and male readers will enjoy reading the book and reflecting on their value and influence on the opposite sex. Parker’s book makes you want to be more like the people she admires and right the wrongs with those you share hurt.
Release date: November 17, 2015 (Scribner)
Disheveled Shelf 